When you lose a friend, part of you dies a little. It hurts even more when the end is slow. It starts with them taking a bit longer to answer your texts. At first you don’t think much of it. Well, you do, but you tell yourself that it’s your anxiety talking. They’re probably just busy and have a lot on their plate. But it happens again. And then again. The daily phone calls? Gone. Not even weekly now. Months go by and things don’t get better. They’ve become a stranger, that one friend who knew your deepest secrets and whom you trusted and loved. They’re gone. Gone from your life, but not from your heart, and that’s why it hurts. You didn’t want that friendship to end. It wasn’t your choice.
Deep down you know people often grow away. Of course you know it. But with this friendship — this person — you thought it was different. You didn’t think anything could break that bond between you. Not even time. Especially not time. But it happened. There wasn’t a fight, nor a reason, but little by little you felt the distance. It was a slow death.
When you lose the one friend you thought would be in your life forever, you have to grieve. You grieve the beginning of the relationship. You grieve what you used to be. You grieve the tears you cried together, the laughs you had, and the texts that never went unanswered. You miss it.
You may even feel silly for being so sad. After all, you didn’t live together, and you were never going to get married or have kids together, it wasn’t like that. But none of that matters. You loved them. You still do. Losing someone you love is a painful process no matter the circumstances.
I know you can’t help but wonder why life keeps throwing people at you who aren’t meant to stay. You wonder if it’s even worth investing in relationships if they’re all meant to expire. You wonder if the temporary happiness is worth the pain. You wonder if you should walk away before you inevitably suffer. But maybe relationships just aren’t meant to last. Maybe there’s beauty in its passing moment. Maybe life puts people in our path simply for the lessons they teach us and how they inspire us to change, to better ourselves, and to not commit the same mistakes again.
You have to believe that this person crossed your path at one point in time because you both needed each other. So hold on to the good memories, even if it hurts. Hold them tight. Even though everything feels dark and lonely right now without your friend by your side, I want you to know that you’re not broken. You’ll find another special friendship. You will.
I hope you find your tribe.
I hope you find the people who can see the pain behind you smile, the ones who know what lays behind your silence, and the ones who will see the love through your anger. The ones who will understand you, and forgive you when you’ve been a pale representation of yourself. The ones who stay when you expect them to leave.
I hope you surround yourself with the right people. Not those who are only here when everything’s shiny, but those who stay when you’re so overwhelmed that you can’t even put your pain into words.
I hope you find the people who make you feel loved when you feel unlovable. The ones who will never make you doubt your self-worth. The ones with whom you can be honest and who will be honest right back to you. I hope you find the ones who’ll break down your walls, yet stay after seeing the scars on your soul. The ones who will give you tough love when you’re off the mark. The ones who will reassure you that everything’s gonna be okay when all you see is darkness. The ones who will laugh with you until both your faces hurt. And the ones who will hug you instead of judging when you’re crying, because on that particular day you can’t hold it together anymore.
I hope you find the people who will never make you feel like your love is too much, and the people who make you a priority even when it’s not convenient.
In a world that can be harsh, I wish for you to find the people who will make you feel like you’re not alone. Believe me when I say that even if you feel like an island right now, you are not alone – you just need to find your people.
Here’s to the friends who see our messy parts, and love us still.
Here’s to the friends who see our messy homes, and don’t care. They don’t judge us for not having a Magnolia worthy living space. They don’t pay attention to the fact that we haven’t dusted in two weeks, or still have a pile of clean laundry on the couch, or dirty dishes in the sink. They don’t care about any of that – what they want to do is sit and talk. They want to know how we are, they want to share how they are, too. The conversation is more important than the organization – that’s what matters, that’s what counts.
Here’s to the friends who see our messy parts, and love us still.
Here’s to the friends who see us with hair that hasn’t been washed in a week, sweatpants leggings that have holes in them, no make up on, and socks that don’t match. They don’t care that we aren’t picture perfect ready. They don’t care that we just decided to forgo jeans for the day. What they care about is that you showed up for the impromptu girls night on the couch. That’s what matters. That’s what counts.
Here’s to the friends who see our messy parts, and love us still.
Here’s to the friends who see us cry ugly tears, and give us a hug anyway, even though snot and tears and mascara will probably get all over their clothes. They don’t care about the damn shirt. They care about being there for you when you’re falling apart. They care about being there for you to cry on – they want you to know that you are not alone and that you are loved. These are the friends who see us unhinged and talk us through it. These are the friends who listen when we need to cry or yell or scream – and know the words we need to hear to soothe our troubles.
Here’s to the friends who see our messy parts, and love us still. They know that friendship isn’t just about sparkly bits of success – it’s about the lows and the highs, and being there for each peak and each valley – that’s what lasts, that’s what counts.
Deep down you know people often grow away. Of course you know it. But with this friendship — this person — you thought it was different. You didn’t think anything could break that bond between you. Not even time. Especially not time. But it happened. There wasn’t a fight, nor a reason, but little by little you felt the distance. It was a slow death.
When you lose the one friend you thought would be in your life forever, you have to grieve. You grieve the beginning of the relationship. You grieve what you used to be. You grieve the tears you cried together, the laughs you had, and the texts that never went unanswered. You miss it.
You may even feel silly for being so sad. After all, you didn’t live together, and you were never going to get married or have kids together, it wasn’t like that. But none of that matters. You loved them. You still do. Losing someone you love is a painful process no matter the circumstances.
I know you can’t help but wonder why life keeps throwing people at you who aren’t meant to stay. You wonder if it’s even worth investing in relationships if they’re all meant to expire. You wonder if the temporary happiness is worth the pain. You wonder if you should walk away before you inevitably suffer. But maybe relationships just aren’t meant to last. Maybe there’s beauty in its passing moment. Maybe life puts people in our path simply for the lessons they teach us and how they inspire us to change, to better ourselves, and to not commit the same mistakes again.
You have to believe that this person crossed your path at one point in time because you both needed each other. So hold on to the good memories, even if it hurts. Hold them tight. Even though everything feels dark and lonely right now without your friend by your side, I want you to know that you’re not broken. You’ll find another special friendship. You will.
I hope you find your tribe.
I hope you find the people who can see the pain behind you smile, the ones who know what lays behind your silence, and the ones who will see the love through your anger. The ones who will understand you, and forgive you when you’ve been a pale representation of yourself. The ones who stay when you expect them to leave.
I hope you surround yourself with the right people. Not those who are only here when everything’s shiny, but those who stay when you’re so overwhelmed that you can’t even put your pain into words.
I hope you find the people who make you feel loved when you feel unlovable. The ones who will never make you doubt your self-worth. The ones with whom you can be honest and who will be honest right back to you. I hope you find the ones who’ll break down your walls, yet stay after seeing the scars on your soul. The ones who will give you tough love when you’re off the mark. The ones who will reassure you that everything’s gonna be okay when all you see is darkness. The ones who will laugh with you until both your faces hurt. And the ones who will hug you instead of judging when you’re crying, because on that particular day you can’t hold it together anymore.
I hope you find the people who will never make you feel like your love is too much, and the people who make you a priority even when it’s not convenient.
In a world that can be harsh, I wish for you to find the people who will make you feel like you’re not alone. Believe me when I say that even if you feel like an island right now, you are not alone – you just need to find your people.
Here’s to the friends who see our messy parts, and love us still.
Here’s to the friends who see our messy homes, and don’t care. They don’t judge us for not having a Magnolia worthy living space. They don’t pay attention to the fact that we haven’t dusted in two weeks, or still have a pile of clean laundry on the couch, or dirty dishes in the sink. They don’t care about any of that – what they want to do is sit and talk. They want to know how we are, they want to share how they are, too. The conversation is more important than the organization – that’s what matters, that’s what counts.
Here’s to the friends who see our messy parts, and love us still.
Here’s to the friends who see us with hair that hasn’t been washed in a week, sweatpants leggings that have holes in them, no make up on, and socks that don’t match. They don’t care that we aren’t picture perfect ready. They don’t care that we just decided to forgo jeans for the day. What they care about is that you showed up for the impromptu girls night on the couch. That’s what matters. That’s what counts.
Here’s to the friends who see our messy parts, and love us still.
Here’s to the friends who see us cry ugly tears, and give us a hug anyway, even though snot and tears and mascara will probably get all over their clothes. They don’t care about the damn shirt. They care about being there for you when you’re falling apart. They care about being there for you to cry on – they want you to know that you are not alone and that you are loved. These are the friends who see us unhinged and talk us through it. These are the friends who listen when we need to cry or yell or scream – and know the words we need to hear to soothe our troubles.
Here’s to the friends who see our messy parts, and love us still. They know that friendship isn’t just about sparkly bits of success – it’s about the lows and the highs, and being there for each peak and each valley – that’s what lasts, that’s what counts.